Saturday, September 29, 2007


Is it just me, or does life seem to be defined by our relationship status, how many relationships we have had, etc,etc,etc. I hate how you seem to be divided into groups of those who are single and those who are not... I hate how some people who are single spend their whole lives looking for something they may never find, or have idealised so much that they have made it impossible to find. Why not just enjoy the life you have now, embrace what you have, what you are lucky to have (and many others don't) and don't worry about 'providence' 'fate' or whats meant to be.... maybe it's easier said than done.... well I know it is!

It seems weird, but I hate the fact that i'm drifting away from one of my closest friends. Different stages of life I guess and perhaps we all change, but i'm beginning to feel more and more recluse from those that I used to see day in and day out.... and I don't understand why!? I know a lot of my friends don't share my interests.... I mean you have to be a pretty 'special' person to take SUCH an interest in dog sports right?! But maybe i'm using that as a defense to 'hide' something? I don't know - but I do feel a little alienated from some friends now and I don't get it.... we used to be so close... heck - SHE was as nutty as I was!! ROFL! I don't see myself as a boring person... I have some pretty twisted interests that not everyone shares (hmm... lets see - dogs, LMM, some TV shows....), but I don't think (at least I hope I don't, and if I do I would hope that my friends would tell me) that I harp on abut them and that they are the only things I can talk about.... I hope i'm not one of those "me, me, ME" people.... but I just hate the fact that friendships drift apart... I know people change, and all things like that but it still doesn't make it any less frustrating... LOL.

I guess the scariest thing is that while i'm meeting new people and making new friends, the number of people that I mix with on a more social basis (ie: outside of our interests) is less... not to mention, not really in my age group! LOL - everyone keeps telling me to develop new interests, but I don't really have anything that will interest me... aside from what I already do!!

ARGH! This is very frustrating!!

1 comment:

Amanda O. said...

It is interesting isn't it and just a bit sad when someone who has been such a big part of your world just sort of drifts away. One thing I've found... and maybe it's just me... but a lot of my long term relationships tend to go in cycles, where we're both sort of in the same headspace or wavelength or whatever for awhile and then we drift apart for awhile because one of us is busy or focus is diverted elsewhere for a time but eventually life shifts again and we end up closer and involved in each other's daily life again. I'm kind of at this point with one of my oldest friends, basically due to us both having a series of major life changes at different points and going in somewhat different directions philosophically but now coming back to enjoy the aspects we became friends for. If I think of people I've been friends with for, it's true of every one of them and these are friendships spanning between two and twelve years. I tend to think that when life shifts - for example when I was single and my friends were getting married or having a baby and our communications shifted, it's because they're so busy processing the new aspect of their life that they tend to seek out others in that same phase to help get a sense of contexutalization so they can redefine themselves and their place in the world. And no - it doesn't make it feel any nicer, you're right but hopefully it means you and your friend will find yoruself inspired by what made you friends in the first place at a later date or find new common interests to build on.